“We just can’t communicate anymore! He doesn’t understand me!” The answer to this problem is simple, really. You need to learn how to hear your partner, so that your partner will do the same for you. This, of course, is critical to a committed relationship. It means first putting your feelings aside and listening with your brain, not your heart. The heart/feelings part comes later, when you understand each other.

Set a time to talk about your issues on a routine basis and take turns listening. Repeat back what you heard him say, to show and develop a real interest. Validate what he says. You can always see where a person is coming from, even when you don’t agree. Then it is his turn. By practicing this method, the walls will slowly start to come down, making it easier to have the real heart to heart talks you yearn for.

Once you are having heart to heart talks, you’ll notice
that communication, and the issues beneath it, are steadily improving,